A Journey of a thosand miles starts with a single step

“Make a choice. Just decide. What it’s gonna be, who you’re gonna be, how you’re gonna do it. Just decide.” — Will Smith.

 

Today I woke up, I felt like shit just like any other day. Got myself ready for work smoked a bunch of fags and made my way to the coffee shop as I did every Monday to Friday. But today I did something different, I ordered a skinny latte instead of a full fat.

I wasn’t sure if this was gonna make a change to my ever-expanding ass, but it was a change, a small one but still a change. A step perhaps in the right direction.

Right now, I’m on a downer in my life, I drink too much coffee, I smoke too much, I’m slightly overweight, I struggle when I try to exercise, rarely go out, have few friends and worst of all am stuck in a dead-end job with a low wage for 40 hours a week of my life.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my dreams and goals and where I am actually at in Life. It’s the sort of thinking you do when you know you are in a rutt and I have realised that if I don’t change something I’ll end up in the direction I am going. The road to nowhere in particular.

I’ve read enough self-help articles to know how to get off my arse and do something but putting it into practice is another matter altogether. When you feel depressed you feel hopeless and like everything you do is pointless. I’m coming up to 40 years of age and I know that I need to take a risk and change some things in my life to get to where I want to be.

I once had dreams, big big dreams! I was going to build my own Yoga, Dance and Martial art school, I was gonna own a nice house, a car, have a great husband, an array of friends and generally an awesome existence but then life got in the way.

It turns out it takes years of dedication and practice to become a good Yogi, Dancer and Martial Artist and although I do these things recreationally and enjoy these activities the commitment it requires to become good is hard to make consistently.

I’ve not been able to find decent paid work since my well-paid contract in a travel company came to an end so that counts out me owning a nice house and car for now as instead I’m living pay check to pay check barely making ends meet.

Having a breakdown at the same time didn’t exactly do wonders for my social life as many friends deserted me in favour of friends that didn’t have a mental health problem or a mid-30’s crisis. In addition, of course, the man who I thought was my future husband ditched me as well.

So here I am.

Mediocre ville.

Dead dreams and a big bum hardly the poster child for all things shiny and positive but you know what, we all must start somewhere, and they say, once you hit rock bottom you either stay there or you get back up.

Inside of me I know there’s that spark, its just so tiny, so starved of oxygen its hard to hear the little voice of hope, the voice that used to get me up in the mornings with a smile saying a big fuck you to adversity. It’s small but it’s still there.

So today using the Will Smith formula I ordered a skinny Latte.

Make a choice. I choose not to drink full fat lattes.

Just decide. I’m not gonna have a fat arse

What it’s gonna be. Its gonna be a 0 fat latte

Who you’re gonna be. I’m gonna enjoy a skinny latte

How you’re gonna do it. I’m gonna request it from the Barista

And you know what, I feel pumped, if I can say goodbye to the extra creaminess on my coffee then what’s next? Give up smoking, commit to my sports, actually write my CV up and send it out to get a new better paid job!

Wow! This could be the beginning of something special, the catalyst that puts my life in motion taking me from zero to hero. Can I apply this simple formula to areas of my life one at a time?!

I’ll keep ya posted!

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